Home Fires 2

Today I re-read the article that was published about our wedding in “c-ville weekly”, so I thought I would share it with you all too!

Patience and rewards

Newlyweds savor their honeymoon, then settle in to wait

BY JESSIE KNADLER

Dan and Molly Laufer dated for half a decade before getting married. Three of those years were spent in separate cities. Dan, 25, lived in Atlanta, where he worked at a business strategy-consulting firm; Molly, 24, lived in Jacksonville, Florida, where she was stationed with the Navy. (The first two years were spent together in Charlottesville, where they met at UVA.) It’s a five-and-a-half-hour drive between Atlanta and Jacksonville, which the couple endured at least twice a month.

Dan and Molly Laufer September 12, 2009 Photograph by Sarah Cramer Shields

After so much long distance, they finally decided to close the gap by getting married this fall. But as wedding plans heated up over the summer, Molly, who is active duty in the Navy, had to transfer to San Diego, where she was expected to deploy to the Middle East (she’s had two prior deployments). The couple, who had hoped to dazzle their wedding guests with smooth moves on the dance floor, had signed up for a series of lessons at a Jacksonville dance studio. But the transfer cut the lessons short so they had to practice what little they’d learned in hotel rooms and hallways during the cross-country drive to California last August.

No sooner had the couple settled into their new digs on the West Coast, they had to fly back east again for their September 12 wedding at King Family Vineyard, in Crozet.

Molly, a Baltimore native, had been informed that she was to deploy a day after the wedding, which meant their honeymoon to Greece and Paris would have to be postponed. Luckily, plans changed at the last minute; she found out (during her bachelorette party, no less) that she was allowed to go on her honeymoon after all, but she was expected to ship out a mere three days after arriving back to San Diego.

With her deployment imminent, Molly and Dan did everything they could to ritualize their special day. On the day of the wedding, Dan, who’s originally from Charlottesville, decided it was bad luck to talk to his bride, a decision that can probably be explained by Molly’s description of him as “the most corny person I know but also someone who is deeply passionate about everything he does.”

“I was so excited to see him all day,” says Molly. “All I wanted to do was give him a giant hug.” At one point during the interfaith ceremony—Dan is Jewish, Molly is Episcopalian—the couple had to bless the wine. As Molly looked into her cup of wine, she noticed an insect floating in it. Her first words to her groom—even before “I do”—were “There’s a dead bug in there.” Dan’s hushed response: “It’s O.K.—it’s protein.” Molly whispered back: “O.K., I’m hungry.” No one understood why the 6'2" groom and his 5'2" bride shook with laughter as they stood under the chuppah.

For their first dance, the newlyweds twirled confidently across the dance floor—“probably more times than we were supposed to,” says Molly—to Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

At one point, Molly stepped out of the reception hall to take a breather. “I closed my eyes and all I could hear were glasses clinking, the band playing, people talking. I thought this was the one chance in our lives to have everyone we know and love in the same place—the wedding was the best going away party I could have ever had.”

And now Dan, who just got a new job in his new city, tries to keep the home fires burning during his best friend’s absence. Molly is currently deployed with the NIMITZ Carrier Strike Group where she works as a surface warfare officer on the Al Basrah Oil Terminal, an offshore Iraqi oil facility in the North Arabian Gulf that, she says, “looks like something out of the Kevin Costner movie Waterworld.” To stay in touch, Dan e-mails her pictures from his iPhone nearly every day. And “We live on Skype,” she says.

It’s not easy being apart, but Dan says he’s “reminded that a lot of people have it worse than us.” For now, he’s just looking forward to the day she comes home so they can enjoy the little things together—and share the same ZIP code for once: “Cooking dinner together, taking day trips, walking around our neighborhood,” he says. “The reality is that I can do all of those things right now, but it’s just not as fun or as satisfying without Molly.”

Home Fires

Hi everyone! This is an article that I read the other day- an OpEd in the NYTimes by a man who spent 4 years as an Army Officer, left the service (but continued in the Reserves) and now is a student at the Kennedy School of Government/Harvard Business School. I think it is incredibly well-written; it really speaks to me and brings up a lot of interesting ideas and questions that enter my mind when I think about leaving the Navy after my commitment is up, what will I do next, and how will I adjust to the change in lifestyle. Enjoy.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/06/the-two-worlds-of-the-citizen-soldier/?scp=1&sq=home%20fires%20erik%20malmstrom&st=cse

V-Day 2K10

Other than the fact that I don’t have a “boat boo” (which is NIMITZ lingo for a relationship with someone onboard), this cartoon could not be more spot-on. But thank goodness for brunch!

[Editor's note: The comment bubble reads "February 14, 2010....Valentines Day. I'm 14 billion miles away from home, we still have six weeks of deployment left, our next port call isn't for another three days, boat rlationships are going to get ugly when one way tickets to Dumpsville get handed out, and Patrick Swayze is still dead. Aside from brunch I can't think of any reason to get out of bed."]

Doppleganger?

Yes, you read that right- this post is actually written and posted by yours truly!

Greetings from Malaysia! I am not going to do a full Malaysia brief yet (why would I, when Dan LOOOOOVES uploading 18 pictures a day to blogger? :) --- actually that's not why, but I don't have my camera cord yet. Jean-Ann had to go back to the ship today to do a little work so she's going to pick up my camera connector cord.

As for me, I'm enjoying a quiet morning in the beautiful Sheraton Imperial in Kuala Lumpur. Despite everything being SO cheap here, wifi in your room is unfortunately very expensive, but I figured it was a small price to pay to be able to skype home and upload some pictures and actually be connected to the world, even if for only 2 days. While Jean Ann goes back to the ship until early afternoon, Nicole and I are going to be lazy around the hotel/pool. I know, I know, we SHOULD be out sightseeing but there is plenty of time for that, given that everything stays pretty hustling and bustling until 11pm.

However, I thought I would get on here for 2 quick things. 1) I have posted ALL the pictures from Thailand to facebook, so that Dan does not have to upload any more. So if we're friends, you can see them. If we're not facebook friends, you should friend me. and if you're not on facebook, well, where have you been for the past 6 years? (Just kidding :)

The other thing is, that in honor of what was apparently called Doppleganger Week on facebook last week (where you're supposed to upload a picture of what celebrity looks the most like you for your profile picture)- I bring you the "Molly Laufer Doppleganer" (true story: I don't even know what doppleganger means!!) . I of course, having an internet connection on the ship that makes dial-up look like speed racer, missed out on all of this. (I was online enough to experience the whole "Urban Dictionary Your Name" day, to which I was pleasantly discovered that my name, according to Urban Dictionary, means, extremely hilarious person, very good listener, loves melted cheese sandwiches, which I like to think is pretty spot on. And, it's a little creepy that even Urban Dictionary is aware of my love of grilled cheese sandwiches...).

So it is only fitting to write about my "Doppleganger" moment yesterday at a local mall. This was one of those Middle Eastern Dubai/Bahrain mega-malls. At the information desk, when we were asking for directions, the lady smiles and me as says "your face- your face looks like I have seen it before, how do you say it, familiar?" and of course we laughed and I said "really?" thinking to myself, "no I don't believe we've met before..." and she says "you look like the actress from the TV show- on the Ghost Whisperer". We of course smile and I say thank you (I assume it's a complement?) and then we leave. Of course, neither myself nor my travel companions (I think between the 3 of us we've spent a combined total of about 9 months in the US in the past year and a half) have ever seen the Ghost Whisperer. So this AM I google it, to learn that it was Jennifer Love Hewitt. I thought that was pretty funny b/c 1) I don't think I look like her and 2) no one has ever told me that. It took a few minutes of searching to find a picture where she didn't have ridiculously long hair but this was the closest thing I found to looking like me.

What do you think? I'm not sure I pass for this pretty, but if some Middle Eastern lady tells me that (who, incidentally is FAR more caught up on American culture than I apparently am...) I'm going to go along with it :)

And this picture was OBVIOUSLY not taken anywhere that has humidity even REMOTELY mirroring that of southeast asia...

My New Threads

Hi everyone! Greetings from hot and humid Malaysia. No snow, no ice, no shovels or days off for weather here! Instead, it’s about 92 degrees and muggy and buggy. (I’m finally recovering from the ridiculous bug bites from Thailand- I don’t get it- why do they love to gnaw on my precious skin?)

Before we continue, let’s talk about snow in the mid-Atlantic region. I feel like I can speak relatively freely and intelligently on the matter, given that I was born and raised there. It was only 3 short years ago that I fled my MD/VA roots and ran south then west where I haven’t seen temperatures below 50 in at least 3 years.

I heard most of my loyal readers experienced a lot of snow. 24+ inches a lot of snow. I heard even 95 was shut down- and you know you can hardly go anywhere in the b’more region without using 95. My favorite elementary school teachers, jumping with glee at the thought of a snow day; UVA and various other grad students equally celebrating a day off. Folks have even gotten days off of work for snow! It sounds AWESOME!

But let’s talk about the way people go PSYCHO over going to the grocery store for snow. I’ve heard the horror stories of lines all the way down the aisles to the back of the store. And it’s hard to argue that the most popular and sought out supplies are: bread, milk, cereal, etc (or for my younger generation- copious amount of booze or for my girl friends- baking supplies to keep you occupied). So even in a REALLY bad snowstorm, you might be stuck in the house for what, 2? 3? Maybe 4 days? That is, unless you’re a doctor, nurse, EMT, etc (thinking about you Meg, spending yet another weekend sleeping on a hospital cot between your night shifts!) who have to make it out to work regardless. But let’s say you’re the average Baltimorian who has 2-4 days stuck inside. How much milk could you REALLY need in four days? Or cereal? One bowl at day, maybe 4 people per family for 4 days. So what if you ran out of cereal? Or milk? You would make pancakes, or eggs, or even eat a frozen dinner for breakfast if times got really bad and you had no milk or cereal. Can most people honestly look at their refrigerator or freezer or pantry and think “good thing I am going to make it to the store, otherwise I’d STARVE the next 4 days”. Probably not. In fact, I haven’t had milk in almost 5 months, and I’m still alive to talk about it. Is it ideal? No, not really. I really miss milk. But it is possible to survive without it (or cereal or bread?)- yeah, I think so. But let’s be honest folks- running out for a whole new package of toilet paper? How many times could one use the bathroom in 3-4 days to need THAT much T.P?

Ok, now that tirade is over, I will continue. That rant was not directed at anyone specifically, just the way that people FREAK out over not getting to the store before a snowstorm. [I will now pause and give anyone a chance to rebuttal the rant of this sunshine/mid-70’s lovin’ girl- how bad was your snow experience? Power outages? Or- tell me how GREAT it was- an unexpected day off? A chance to bake cookies? A beautiful view from your window? ß send your stories my way- I secretly miss snow and snowdays for sure! Dan says “this is why we have to move to Boston, so we can be snowed in together,” but I think my sister will argue that somehow Bostonians can handle 24” of snow.]

So back to my final chapter on Thailand. I went straight to the tailor my first day in Thailand with a few ideas in my head. I wanted a cute party dress- v-neck or sweetheart neckline, thin straps, flattering around my waist, and an A-line pleated skirt in a cute print. I also wanted a button up dress that tied around the waist- my inspiration was a picture in Vogue in a “gardening inspired layout”- except in the magazine picture, the dress was green, appeared to be of a cargo-pant type of material, with “cargo-style” pockets on the front. I wanted this dress, but with an Ann Taylor twist to it. I also wanted a pair of linen cropped pants.

The pants were easy- at first I wanted white, no- that was too white. Then I wanted off-white- no, that one wasn’t good with my skin. So I settled on a creamy khaki (so still summery looking) colored. I liked them so much that the 2nd day when I went back for the fitting (they were a little shorter than I wanted at the first fitting, so they took them out an inch in the hem), I ordered a brown pair! Nicole kept encouraging me to pick out a brighter color but I went with Jean-Ann’s advice to get something that could look casual, or dressy if pairs with dressy flats or heels. Here are the brown pants on me and I was holding up the cream colored ones. (pardon the fact that I look terrible and am wearing a camo uniform t-shirt which clearly does not match and have huge bags under my eyes and huge looking forearms. I swear I’m not a total wreck).

So then the button-up dress. I explained to the guy exactly what I wanted, same dress, above the knee, no pockets, and linen. I settled on a vibrant watermelon shade of pink. I was “tickled pink” if you will, by my 2nd fitting. Despite the fact that there were no buttons (so I had to hold it close) and one of the sleeves hadn’t been sewn on and there was no lining in there yet, I was SOOOO happy. I loved it! Until I went to pick it up and there were YELLOW buttons on it. Yes, you read that right- YELLOW buttons on a PINK dress. (ICK!) I had requested a “shell” or “Khaki” color like the buttons in the picture! The guy tried to explain to me that “well, it is a different dress, that dress is green” and I said “I KNOW! But I said I wanted shell colored buttons!”. This was about 4pm the night before we were leaving the next morning but they had made my black & white dress RIDICULOUSLY too big so they had to fix it in the next 6 hours anyways, so I was like “you MUST change the buttons!!!” (I’m paying for it, after all!). This is Jean-Ann, helping me with some advice, and if this picture had a caption it would be “seriously? Yellow buttons?” so they did, and at first we didn’t like the buttons b/c they were obviously bigger than I wanted, until I put the dress on and we all liked the dress with the big buttons. We decided it kind of has a “raincoat look”. Here is the finished dress, in my stateroom. I am in LOVE with this dress. It might be one of my most favorite dresses I’ve ever had. It’s light, linen, springy/summery (so we need to stay in southern California for awhile!), SO well made to fit me perfectly. It will be good with flats/sandals or heels. I am SO happy with it!! When I picked it up dress and it was all done, I loved it soooo much, I ordered one in black (with black small buttons, I made that SOOO clear :))- it’s being made right now and will be sent to my apartment- yay!

Then on to the black and white dress. After my first fitting (no lining, really baggy), I was pretty skeptical. So I went back 2 days later to pick it up and it was STILL huge. I mean, I guess I’m flattered the guy thought I had such a long torso but no no no it was too long! And very big around my middle. The whole point was that it was supposed to “cinch” my waist to show off a smaller middle, but the pattern (oblong sized and shaped polka dots) and the fact that it was too big make me look even bigger and “frumpy.” However, this time, the straps and neckline were done and the lining has been sewn in, so I really got a much better idea of the shape of the dress. The cutest part is the little pleats around the waist of the dress that helps it “go out” from my hips.

Unfortunately, when I went back the 4th time, late at night (around 10pm) on our last night there, the straps were STILL a bit too long (maybe ½ an inch?)- however it was hemmed to just above my knee (Jean-Ann said to make it longer, like tee-length, Nicole said to chop it off and make it more sassy around mid-thigh, so I stuck with in the middle, I am going to wait and see how looks with bright red sassy high shoes and then take up more if necessary). Speaking of red sassy shoes, I have these GORGEOUS satin ivory shoes that I wore for our wedding. I LOVVVEDD the little rounded toes, they were comfortable, elegant and matched the dress perfectly. However, right now I don’t (and probably never again will) have very little demand for ivory satin shoes. I planned to dye them, but have not been able to decide on a color. Here are my sassy wedding shoes- what are your thoughts on dying them bright red for this dress?

However, overall I am pleased with the B&W dress. I love the little waist and the pattern (do you think it makes me look frumpy?) and the little pleats around the waists that go out from there, which is very “forgiving” of my hips :) It was a good purchase, and I just need to have the strap taken up a teeny bit when I get home. But the dress is very well made and I love the fit.

Well, that’s all for now, folks! I’m on duty today so should probably take advantage of the time to get a run in and have watch tonight so I’m finishing up some work here while on watch from 9pm-1:30am. Tomorrow morning, we (myself, Nicole & J-A) are heading out into Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia! We are staying right in the city center by the Petronas Towers at the Sheraton for 2 nights. I can’t wait for more DELICIOUS food, seeing a big city, and some great shopping!

p.s. In summary: I want to hear your best snow story and thoughts on dying the shoes red!

NIMITZ at Anchor

Here we are at anchor in the Gulf of Thailand (I think that’s what it’s called). Such gorgeous sunsets here! (makes me excited to get back to watch San Diego sunsets from our apartment balcony!)

I have a new boss finally! The real N7 showed up so it is great to have a real department head! He comes to us from the ROOSEVELT, a Mayport ship. He is really knowledgeable and might be equally, if not more, organized and into trackers and spreadsheets as I am. This is obviously a great thing but I have been SUPER busy trying to scurry to get it all done. I love having a sense of ownership of my job and really understand where my little role or niche is here.

I did a little fashion show with all of my new tailored clothing today in my stateroom to take pictures, but looks like I’m going to have to pass on that one (it’s already 2am and molly is sleepy!)

I am on duty tomorrow so I promise to wrap up the Thailand tales before I check out Malaysia! Thanks for all of the comments and emails from family & friends- you all keep me going!

Love,

Molly

Another Blog About Seafood?!

But no, it’s not necessarily what you think. One of the things that we did while in Phuket, Thailand was indulge in multiple trips to multiple spas. In 3 days I enjoyed a grand total of two 1-hour massages, an hour full-body scrub, an hour long pedicure, a manicure and an hour long foot massage including scrubbing at least 5lbs of dead skin off of my feet for about $120. 2 of these things were done as a package at our really nice resort spa. After 4 months of wearing the same boots every day, my feet could really use some TLC and Thailand is just the place to go for great therapeutic treatments at pennies to the dollar for what you’d pay in the states. One of the spas even sold their AMAZING smelling products. Lemongrass is the signature scent here, the scent of it is AMAZING (we had lemongrass ice cream one night!) so I picked up a few heavenly spa products- lip balm, oils, etc in the incredible scents to remind me of my time here.

But one of the coolest things we did was the “Fisho Spa”. As seen on Oprah, Phuket was full of these fish spas, where you put your feet (or your hands or your WHOLE BODY) into these pools of “Doctor Fish” which nibble away (though they have no teeth) at the dead skin. It was SOOO funny- I giggled and squirmed and squeamed the whole time- it tickled SOO much! Thailand is a culture that puts a lot of focus on the feet- it is rude to wear your shoes inside anything (like your hotel room or someone’s house or a spa) and any spa treatment starts out by them washing your feet, as seen here. Here is also a picture of the “Doctor Fish” attacking Nicole’s feet. Overall, it was a fun experience and I am glad that I could say I tried it. I’m not sure if it got a lot of my dead skin off, but it did help circulate the oxygen in your feet more, so we felt like we walked a little lighter in our sandals after leaving the “Fisho Spa”.


So then we checked into our hotel- the “Diamond Cliff Resort and Spa”. A lovely gem of a hotel, situated at the farthest most north point of Patong Beach (Patong is the ridiculously wild and crazy and crazy part of the island). We could walk there for outdoor market shopping (or bartering) and street-food eating in about 15-20 minutes or take a tuk-tuk for about $5. What is a tuk-tuk you ask? A tuk-tuk is a basically an oversized pick-up truck, with the back converted into 2 long benches for seating and covered. Here is a tuk-tuk. Yes, it felt slightly unsafe and probably wouldn’t pass any sort of government safety requirements in the States, but it is vastly safer than the alternative mode of transportation in Thailand: mopeds (with or without a food stand attached :)). Here I am with my 2 travel buddies for the port visit, Jean-Ann and Nicole in our Tuk-tuk.


Back to the hotel. The hotel was on a cliff (which made for some good exercise walking from the open-air lobby to our room). We booked the room through MWR (morale, welfare, and recreation) who sold hotel reservations on the ship the week leading up to the port visit. The hotel was incredible- normally the MWR hotels aren’t always the nicest and sometimes you don’t even get as good as a deal as you would online. However, this was reasonably priced at $160 a night for what is one of the nicest hotels in Patong Beach (most of the ones right in the heart of “downtown” were like $60). In fact, one of the stipulations of our hotel was “this is a family resort- no local joiners”- a local joiner being a lady you might meet out at “a go go” club. So we paid a little more for peace, quiet and relaxation.


The hotel had a lovely spa, 3 pools- one that had a swim up pool bar!, one halfway up the cliff with a view of the ocean and one across the street- ON the beach! The hotel reminded me a little bit of the hotel that Dan & I stayed at in Crete on our honeymoon- it was a very sprawling complex up a hill and the beach was small and rocky but gorgeous and quiet. Our room was wonderfully appointed with 3 double beds and 3 little sets of comfy bedroom slippers (since you’re supposed to take off your shoes!). everything was hardwood and the linens were white and had little wispy “curtains” over each bed! It really was a beautiful room and the whole properly was spread out and felt very roomy- I would have loved to have been there with Dan!


The 2nd day that we were there, we donned our new beach cover-ups that we bartered for at a local market and checked out the beach. Jean-Ann and her fair skin spent most of the time under a shaded palm tree but I wandered down to the beach. The beach was a little “alcove” part of the Andaman Sea, and the water was warm (but not too warm) and calm amidst the rocks.

Here are some pictures of the beach area. You can see the pool here- and to the right of the infinity pool was the beach
You could even see a cruise ship here in the background- what a cRaZy place to pull into! Overall, it was a GREAT place to stay- my only regret is that our duty day did not allow us to stay for more than one night at the Diamond Cliff Resort!

Other than spa-ing and beaching and eating, the only thing we really did was shop-shop-shop! And what fun it was, given that you could barter for EVERYTHING. And, like the rest of SE Asia, every single stand sold knock-offs. Knock off purses, knock off polo shirts, knock off Haviana’s, knock off Ed Hardy teeshirts (there were THOUSANDS of them! They must have known that 6,000 Sailors from SoCal were swinging through!). Like a good Aunt, everything I saw I wanted to get for my precious niece, Alexandra (baby kimono’s anyone?) and had SO much fun shopping for her. In an effort not to go totally over the top, I settled on an adorable bring pink polo shirt dress, one of the ones where the little skirt looks like a tennis skirt (a knock off, of course, but she’s 4, so that’s ok :)) and a tee-shirt with a patchwork elephant with 3-D floppy ears and a matching patchwork skirt. I am so excited to get home and send them to her! Given that I have NO idea what size children are, I bought up, hoping that she can grow into it if it’s too big. That’s the thing about kids, they’re always going to grow but rarely shrink, right?

I am already giddy for the markets and shopping in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am obsessed with local crafts and gifts- I think it has to do with being at a stage in my life where I don’t have a lot of “knick-knacks” (although my mom would probably argue otherwise) and it is so much fun to collect things for our new apartment that represents our travels and this stage of our life together (unfortunately these are travels without Dan right now)- serving dishes, art, picture frames, etc etc. Kuala Lumpur has one of the world’s most famous pewter factories and I cannot WAIT to check it out. It will be a perfect place to get us some nice things for ourselves and family and gifts to have on hand. But I am just as happy bartering for knock-offs and local crafts and jewelry too.


One other interesting thing about Thailand is the way in which the people there express their religion. Buddhism is obviously the predominant religion in Thailand and you see small temples all over the city. People come up to them and leave flowers, lei’s, water bottle, half empty soda cans, pictures, toys, etc to show respect. Almost every restaurant, shop, etc (and apparently people’s homes) have a small corner like this. It was very interesting.

Well, I’d love to keep writing but it is already 2:30am and while I would love nothing more to stay up and continue chatting away, I should probably get some sleep. I am furiously finishing up Thailand blogging though because only a few days til we’ll be in a new port again! Hope everyone is doing well and I promise to do the best I can to keep you all entertained during the supposed massive snow storms that are about to pummel the east coast. Stay safe and warm!

Hugs & kisses!